Today Mettie, your sisters made you some cupcakes and we took them to your grave. We read you our Birthday letters to you, we each blew out a candle for you and ate a cupcake.
Thursday, May 28, 2015
April 13, 2015 Mettie's 1st Birthday
This has been a very emotional day for me and our family. It's hard to believe that one year ago today I was giving birth to a beautiful baby girl, Mettie Skye. Today she would be diving into her first cake, trying to blow out 1 candle. I often wonder what this year would have been like with my sweet girl still on this earth. I long to hold her and smother her with kisses. I can only dream of what that would be like, what she would be like. I miss her terribly and wish I could understand why she chose the body she did. Our God has a greater plan for Mettie, she is part of something wonderful and I can feel that.
Today Mettie, your sisters made you some cupcakes and we took them to your grave. We read you our Birthday letters to you, we each blew out a candle for you and ate a cupcake.
Grandpa and Grandma Christensen came, Aunt Mary and your cousin Chloey. Happy Birthday Mettie! We love you with all of our hearts!
Today Mettie, your sisters made you some cupcakes and we took them to your grave. We read you our Birthday letters to you, we each blew out a candle for you and ate a cupcake.
Monday, May 11, 2015
April 10, 2015 our visit to PCH
Our family went to Phoenix Children's Hospital today to kick off 26 days of service for our Mettie. We donated Journals to the CVICU (the floor Mettie was on), this was something that I am so grateful we had as we stayed in the hospital. We recorded notes of things we learned about Mettie by way of the doctor's and nurses as well as our feelings and the tender mercies we received.
We also donated infant towels that had an embroidered balloon with Mettie Skye as the tail in memory of her. This was something I didn't even think about bringing to the hospital for Mettie. It is something I wish I would have had, something to keep that she used.
The kids wanted to eat dinner at the hospital. It was so good for our family to do this act of service. Ellie told me later that Rosie kept asking her to go see Mettie. Ellie sweetly told her that Mettie isn't here. Now Rosie says, "Mettie is with Jesus"
We also donated infant towels that had an embroidered balloon with Mettie Skye as the tail in memory of her. This was something I didn't even think about bringing to the hospital for Mettie. It is something I wish I would have had, something to keep that she used.
Sunday, May 10, 2015
26 days of Service
Thursday, September 11, 2014
September 10, 2014
We found ourselves at PCH today for a dermatology appointment for Tate. The minute we walked into the hospital Rosie asked, "We go see Mettie?" Oh that hit me and I teared up.
After the appointment we went on the elevator to our much loved 5th floor. Once we got out Rosie kept begging to go see Mettie. "I see Mettie!!!" over and over. She was determined. Tate and I both shed tears. How I wish I could have made that plea actually happen!
We were thankful Tara visited with us for a brief moment.
After the appointment we went on the elevator to our much loved 5th floor. Once we got out Rosie kept begging to go see Mettie. "I see Mettie!!!" over and over. She was determined. Tate and I both shed tears. How I wish I could have made that plea actually happen!
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Remembering the Tender Mercies
I have stepped back for a while trying to process everything that we have experienced. It has been a hard 3 months since Mettie became our angel baby. There are days I feel like I can't even breath, when the pain of not having my sweet little one in my arms to hold and to kiss is so great that my heart is crumbling.
I want to remember all those sweet tender mercies we experienced as we went thru the most painful experience of our lives, the ones that helped us make it, that brought us close together and helped us feel our Savior and our Heavenly Father with us.
I know that it was a tender mercy to have my water break on its own. This single event was the catalyst for what would happen the first few hours of Mettie's life. As soon as the nurses started cleaning her off they realized that she did not have an anus. Because of this they quickly prepared her to be transported to Cardon's Childrens' Hospital. Immediately upon arrival the doctors did a scan of her whole mid-line, they discovered that she had Tetralogy of Fallot; 4 things wrong with her heart.
Our next tender mercy was this find. They quickly put Mettie on PGE, which allowed a tiny valve in her heart, that usually closes within hours of birth, to remain open so that her heart could continue pumping. Now that she had a heart defect she was sent to Phoenix Childrens' Hospital. They began some genetic testing on Mettie Skye.
On the Wednesday following her birth, Mettie coded. The doctors were trying to revive her for 4 1/2 minutes. The beautiful tender mercy was that she stayed. She could have left us that day, it was a miracle. She was entubated now but she was alive.
As I reflected more on how each imperfection of Mettie's body was found, I realized that not discovering any of this in any of my ultrasounds was a tender mercy. This allowed us to have more time with Mettie as they ran tests on her body and on her genetics. Each step gave us another day, another hour, another minute to love Mettie, to feel what a strong and great spirit she has and for her siblings to create a bond with their sister that they will forever treasure, that they will forever work hard to be with her again. I am so thankful for those full 26 days we had together as a family.
After the dark Care meeting we had with all the doctors we experienced another tender mercy. The next day a new cardiologist came in to speak with us, Dr. Ellsworth. He brought light into our lives again as he answered our questions and explained everything so thoroughly to us. He showed us all her scans and did another ultrasound right then and there of her heart. We needed that.
Another tender mercy was having Mettie transported home by ambulance and on the ventilator. We wanted as much time at home with her as we could have. The morning we were bringing her home the ambulance that came to transport her did not have an infant ventilator. I watched the hospital staff work hard and quickly to find a small transportable vent for Mettie. They took extra care in making sure everything was working properly as they hooked her up to it. I had a resident doctor wanting to come with us to make sure everything went okay. But the hospital wouldn't allow it. I have a great love for all the doctors, nurses, respiratory nurses, hospital staff that helped Mettie during her time at Phoenix Children's and during this time of helping her come home.
When we arrived home they removed the ventilator. Matt's cousin Darby was there to take family pictures. Her schedule was completely open for us. I am so grateful for that tender mercy. I am grateful that each of my children had the chance to hold her without all the chords and that they have a picture to remember that time with her. What a tender mercy!
The greatest tender mercy was having Mettie with us for 26 days. She taught us so much.
I want to remember all those sweet tender mercies we experienced as we went thru the most painful experience of our lives, the ones that helped us make it, that brought us close together and helped us feel our Savior and our Heavenly Father with us.
I know that it was a tender mercy to have my water break on its own. This single event was the catalyst for what would happen the first few hours of Mettie's life. As soon as the nurses started cleaning her off they realized that she did not have an anus. Because of this they quickly prepared her to be transported to Cardon's Childrens' Hospital. Immediately upon arrival the doctors did a scan of her whole mid-line, they discovered that she had Tetralogy of Fallot; 4 things wrong with her heart.
Our next tender mercy was this find. They quickly put Mettie on PGE, which allowed a tiny valve in her heart, that usually closes within hours of birth, to remain open so that her heart could continue pumping. Now that she had a heart defect she was sent to Phoenix Childrens' Hospital. They began some genetic testing on Mettie Skye.
On the Wednesday following her birth, Mettie coded. The doctors were trying to revive her for 4 1/2 minutes. The beautiful tender mercy was that she stayed. She could have left us that day, it was a miracle. She was entubated now but she was alive.
As I reflected more on how each imperfection of Mettie's body was found, I realized that not discovering any of this in any of my ultrasounds was a tender mercy. This allowed us to have more time with Mettie as they ran tests on her body and on her genetics. Each step gave us another day, another hour, another minute to love Mettie, to feel what a strong and great spirit she has and for her siblings to create a bond with their sister that they will forever treasure, that they will forever work hard to be with her again. I am so thankful for those full 26 days we had together as a family.
After the dark Care meeting we had with all the doctors we experienced another tender mercy. The next day a new cardiologist came in to speak with us, Dr. Ellsworth. He brought light into our lives again as he answered our questions and explained everything so thoroughly to us. He showed us all her scans and did another ultrasound right then and there of her heart. We needed that.
Another tender mercy was having Mettie transported home by ambulance and on the ventilator. We wanted as much time at home with her as we could have. The morning we were bringing her home the ambulance that came to transport her did not have an infant ventilator. I watched the hospital staff work hard and quickly to find a small transportable vent for Mettie. They took extra care in making sure everything was working properly as they hooked her up to it. I had a resident doctor wanting to come with us to make sure everything went okay. But the hospital wouldn't allow it. I have a great love for all the doctors, nurses, respiratory nurses, hospital staff that helped Mettie during her time at Phoenix Children's and during this time of helping her come home.
When we arrived home they removed the ventilator. Matt's cousin Darby was there to take family pictures. Her schedule was completely open for us. I am so grateful for that tender mercy. I am grateful that each of my children had the chance to hold her without all the chords and that they have a picture to remember that time with her. What a tender mercy!
The greatest tender mercy was having Mettie with us for 26 days. She taught us so much.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Missing Mettie
These cute kids of mine started school yesterday. They were so excited. I need to give a little background before I tell you what Annie said in her prayer on the food for the first day of school. Last Friday after singing her heart out to some of her favorite songs in the front room where we have a lot pictures of our beautiful Mettie, she came into the kitchen distraught and super sad. "Mom, When is Mettie coming home? I miss her. Where is she?" Oh my heart broke. We have talked so openly about Mettie and where she is but Annie is only 5. She never really wanted to listen, maybe a way to protect herself from a lot of hurt, but that Friday it hit her! "Annie, Mettie is in heaven with Jesus. She isn't coming back until Jesus does." I hugged her and then she went on with what she was doing before.
I asked Annie to bless our breakfast that morning before school. Never have I heard her say such a thoughtful prayer. She blessed every portion of the breakfast, scrambled eggs, hash browns and toast. She blessed each of her siblings by name and that they each would have a great first day of school, she blessed her dad at work and her mom and Rosie at home and then she said this, "Bless Mettie that she will have a great day in Heaven!"
Wow! I loved that!!!
It hit me later when all the kids were at school and I was washing dishes with Rosie by my side...the tears filled my eyes, this quiet time right now was supposed to be spent with my two little girls.
This was Rosie and Mettie's time to be with me. As sad as I was I kept reflecting back on what my little Annie was hoping for...For her Mettie to have a Great Day in Heaven! I hope she did and continues to have a Great Day in Heaven! Love you Mettie Skye!!!
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